2. Poetic Descriptions handout.
Groups:
- Repetition: Maddie, Scott, and Shaina.
- Similes: Becca, John, Kellins, Nik, and Taylor.
- Metaphors: Carly, Christopher, and Tyler.
- Alliteration and assonance: Andi, Erik, and Jack.
Then, post your answers to the following questions (be sure to include your name and group at the top of your post):
- What makes your particular poetic device “work”?
- What does it add to the narrative? How does it add to the narrative?
- If yes, do they “work”? How can you strengthen them to be even more effective?
- If no, add them.
You will have part of class time with laptops this coming Monday and Wednesday to work on revisions of your vignettes. Unlike the memoir assignment, I am not requiring that you meet with me, but if you would like more in-depth feedback it is your responsibility to schedule a time with me Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. I encourage all of you to do so.
The final draft is due at the beginning of class Thursday, November 8th. Recognize. Email the final draft (all three vignettes in one document) or copy the document to my mamabear server faculty folder.
Things to revisit and consider in the revision process:
- The assignment sheet. Make sure you understand the requirements. Ask for clarification if need be.
- Your peers' comments. They likely saw things that you didn't.
- Your own reflections. You may now see things that you previously didn't.
- The student examples I handed out. What made them "work"? (Why were they effective?) Why did I use them as models?
12 comments:
John S. Similies
Similies are cool and strange at the same time. They are in HMS, hidden like bats in the night. They bring a lot to the table. They work by helping create an image in your mind. By explaining that kids say Esperanza's name "funny as if the syllables were made out of tin and hurt the roof of your mouth" it gives her name an image. Normally I would not think of saying her name hurting the roof of my mouth. Using similies also lets you help connect symbols. You can create a deaper meaning besides just shoes, or besides only her hair. You create a depth that the reader can choose to think about and explore furthur.
• Repetition: Shaina
The poetic/literary device of repetition reinforces the point or the mood of the piece and adds depth because it keeps the reader focused on the main point(s) of the writing.
Repetition “works” because when it’s hard for a writer to make a point or emphasize a specific detail that would otherwise be overlooked, they use repetition to show that what they’re repeating is intentional. It pinpoints a certain idea and makes the theme of that piece appear more clear or real. This way, it’s difficult for the reader to miss the main point or theme of the writing.
My vignettes include repetition in each vignette. (V1 “…all eyes are on the gun that rises slowly, slowly, slowly.” V2 Repetitive use of “fun” and the contrast of “isn’t” at the end of the piece V3 “I cannot…I cannot…I cannot…I can” at the end to emphasize my internal struggle and how I’m bound to stay the same, but there is one thing that I can do to change.
-They strengthen the piece because they showcase the important parts, or the most intense moments in my writing. I can make them become more effective by catching the reader’s attention by describing more objects, then using repetition to reinforce the important or symbolic qualities about them.
Similes: John, NIk, Becca and Taylor
Similes show the reader a deeper meaning to what the writer is trying to say. I also gives the reader an opportunity to connect with the author on different levels.For example : "songs like sobbing." Someone could read that and say "Oh she means the songs she was listening to sounded like some one crying." But someone else could say,"the songs themselves were crying." They make the novel more interesting and makes the reader feel that they can connect with whatever the writer is saying. They are also very poetic. Making the moment or climax in the book seem more relaxed or intense.
Metaphor Group
Christopher Madsen
What makes metaphors work in The house on Mango street is it's reliance on figurative language. Metaphors like the ones in House on Mango Street would not make sense with out Ms. Cisneros rich figurative language, which accompanies the metaphors nicely. Metaphors are describing something implicitly, as in, without actually saying it, by comparing things to other things you wouldn't normally compare them to. It adds to House on Mango Street, by hinting at things, and implying things, that go along with her figurative language. With metaphors, we can get a different view at themes and events, than a bland statement of what happened, and why. It also can provide depth into emotions.
Metaphors are usually describing a personal, emotional, reaction to something; what a person's take is on a common occurrence. What makes them work, is that to describe a person's specific and unique emotion towards something, common themes are used so that the reader can relate and understand. A metaphor breaks down a complex feeling by identifying it with a simple concept. They bring a sense of familiarity to a book between the reader and a character. Metaphors also bring imagery to a narrative. They put a picture in your mind rather than words, helping you comprehend what the character is going through.
Repition is when the author intentionally repeats a certain word or phrase in order to bring attention, or to show the importance of a word.
Repetition works because it focuses the attention of the audience which is almost always looking at the words at face value only. This allows for the author to put the point across, and in the cases like "That's cumulus too. They're all cumulus today. Cumulus, cumulus, cumulus" (36). to set a tone for the reader. This quote shows how the speaker's thoughts are more free flowing, and unorganized like a child.
Repetition adds tone, and focus to a narrative, allowing the author's true point to come across easier than if they had gone without using this device. It does this through the sentence structure around the repetition. If a detective was pondering over a detail he would repeat it, allowing the reader to see how troubled he was. In literature like HMS it allows the author's point to come across by focusing the reader's attention on that particular word, bringing it into focus, which allows that word in particular to be examined.
Andi Foss
Alliteration/Assonance
ALliteration and assonance works because it gives the writing flow and rhythm. It works in House of Mango because it is showing what is going on in a creative way.
Nik Kosieradzki
Similes.
Similes are a comparison that uses the words 'as' or 'like.
Cisneros uses unusual similes such as comparing cats to donuts. Which is possibly a more apt description than B. Kliban's 'Cat: Often Mistaken for a Meatloaf.' But I digress. Her similes make you stop and think about what she is trying to say with it. They are like a detour that ultimately is a much prettier drive. They help to gain new meaning from the story. And that's what makes them work.
Erik Germundsen
Alliteration & Assonance
These 2 elements work well because they not only make a normal sentence seem more poetic, they also serve to your brain in paying attention. Reading "Peter Piper Picked A Peck Of Pickled Peppers"(an example of alliteration) is a lot more interesting than "Peter went into the grassy area and took some of the vegetables he found". Assonance also aids in a similar way.
These two elements help HOMS by making her vignettes seem more poetic and making them more rhythmic.
Jack Pattee
Alliteration and Assonance
Alliteration is the repetition of consonant sounds, while assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds. These two literary elements are very similar, and they both serve to make a piece of literature more poetic and rhythmic. These two elements work particularly well in House on Mango Street, because other poetic elements such as figurative language and imagery are used heavily, and assonance and alliteration serve to further the poetic mood already present in the vignettes.
The different circumsatnces when repitition was used serves a different point in the vignettes. The repition works because she adds it in when it flows and doesn't seem forced. The first example of repition of the word "there" makes her point that she lives there. It makes it seem worse then it would if she had just said it once and it also brings out some of her emotions. The second example of Nenny saying "cumulus" makes her thoughts seem lighter. It also makes it seem more matter of fact, like there's no way that she could be worng, it make it seem more simple. The third example, which is Esperanza restating the the man watched her dance, brings something different then the other two. it shows that she's excited and happy, that something's different so she has to make sure people understand how important it is. Cisnero's repitition of the word "hold" also brings out emotion like "there" does. It shows that holding him is important to her and it reiderates that fact that she doesn't know what she'd do if he died. Each form of repition brings something different to the novel, but they all enrich the meaning and make the vignettes more interesting to read.
Maddie
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